Since, many years I had this belief that the love and respect in my heart for all those whom I really perceive as brothers is much more than that single thread could hold. I do not care much about blood relations though, brother is a brother underneath any family name, country name, religion, region, colour or skin. For me, its simple as this- Brother is a Brother (whom I consider from heart). Due to this belief I use to avoid this festival a lot since childhood. I did tied and sent Rakhi few times but there was not much thought or sentiments behind it.
But this year, I seriously had a strong urge to tie Rakhi, somehow, this symbolic custom disclosed its importance to me. By saying this, I do not mean that only if someone ties a Rakhi the relation between bro-sis become stronger, what I meant was this symbolic traditions and rituals are so wonderful, full of meaning, by following them we are also protecting our cultural heritage. This year Rakhi really became extremely important for me, no particular reason though. After marriage lot changes, for good ofcourse at least in my case. A girl definitely becomes a woman and start understanding a lot more about the importance of relations and the rituals too. Ofcourse, these days everyone is living far away we cannot follow all the rituals according to the traditional rules, but we can certainly think and dial numbers on the mobile.
So, yesterday morning while getting ready for work. I told my husband that I need to call all my brothers and wish them. He said, “..than I must also call and wish your brothers as well as mine…” And I quickly replied, “No, its Sister’s day“. He was teasing me!! I must confess, I didn’t like it much, kiddish me!! At that moment I became extremely possessive about my bro’s, didn’t felt like sharing that day with anyone, its only sis-bro day, this was running across my mind.
Than, the routine day took its toll like every other day. Today, that conversation again strike my mind and I thought, what my hubby said in good fun, actually made a lot of sense to me. Why Men cannot tie Rakhi to their brothers and wish them like women on this festival. If this day symbolises love between siblings than why only sisters could tie “Rakhi”, why brothers can’t tie on each others hand.
Now the thoughts I had during childhood made sense to me, all dots were combining to make this line complete. Since childhood I ignored this festival because the rules made by the society years back, which are still being followed, never satisfied me. According to the traditional rules, girls pray for the long life of their brothers and brothers promises to save sisters from evil, this thinking bothered me always. Why sisters (women) need to be protected, they are very much capable of protecting themselves. Why sisters think that whenever they will have any problem brother will come on a horse with a sword, kill the enemy and protect his sister. I wonder, does brothers think the same way too!! Do they think that one day when they will have a problem their sister will come on a horse with a sword to save him??
I have a lot of respect for festivals, customs and rituals but certainly the rules behind must convince me thoroughly. I am looking forward to tie Rakhi to my brothers next year, with a heart full of love, and blessings but not with a feeling that one day they will come to save me or solve all my problems, just because they are my brothers, this is unfair. If I will have a problem, I must solve it myself. If I can’t than I will take help of my brothers certainly on the condition that they must think the same. Only than Rakhi will make perfect sense. This is a ritual where the ties must have powerful love bond, nothing else.
I sincerely hope, soon brothers will start tying Rakhi to their brothers too!!! Why not?
Author : Rashmi R-R
(1) RAKHI – Indian Festival on which sisters tie a thread called “Rakhi” on brothers wrist.
(2) These are my personal and honest opinion about Rakhi, I have no intension to hurt anyone’s feelings.